


Lost Love

by Kogan_Larry_Shipper



Series: Forbidden Love [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Forbidden Love, Honestly the girls are only mentioned a few times, Louis' take one everything he's been through, M/M, Sad Louis, throughout the years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 09:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4342778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kogan_Larry_Shipper/pseuds/Kogan_Larry_Shipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if you find your soulmate at the age of 18? What if your love gets ripped from your hands and you have to pretend you were never in love? Could you do it without breaking inside?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Love

"I missed you" whispered the curly haired boy. "I loved you" replied the blue eyed boy.

Love doesn't just pass, it isn't something that just stops. You're going to constantly have that feeling in your heart. Your soul. You can't help that feeling. Even if it's tiny and no one can no longer tell that you care. You'll have it. You'll know. You'll know that there are three words that could be said and you'd be back to the tongue tied and butterflied boy you were at eighteen. When you thought you met the one you were destined to be with. You met in the toilet. The toilet of all places. Your first word to him. Oops. His reply made your heart flutter. Hi. You knew he'd be a star one day. You could just tell. From the green eyes, to the dimples or maybe it was just the curly hair that made it all work. You even got a picture, you were ready to say that, "I met that boy in the Lou before he was famous". But you'd never have to utter those words because little did you know, you passed that audition round and the next and the next and carry on. You weren't alone though. You had that curly haired boy next to you along the journey as well as three other lads but they aren't added into the mix just yet.

You can't help but stare at him when you're doing the video diaries, the fond smiles, the hidden giggles, the teasing. But something happens, a moment that shocks you into reality, the moment you almost kissed. You remember this moment so well, you replay it in your mind whenever you're upset. A certain Irish lad was in the corner of your eye when you moved closer. His smile made you smile, which made curly smile, which made the moment even more perfect until you remembered the cameras. You couldn't let that be seen. Curly was destined to be famous. You couldn't get In the way of that. There was no way you'd let that happen. One last thing you remember about that moment was Curly's face after, you thought it was disgusted. If only you could've realized that it was disappointment.

So you carry on with your life, rapidly climbing your way to the top. The stolen glances, and soft touches don't stop, you don't think you could live if they stopped. Curly had adorable moments like when you pouted because one of the lads didn't include you in the age range. Or when the fans went wild when you two "kissed" with masks on. One moment that you can recall the fans still love. The chocolate fight that turned into 'making out'. You two had almost kissed but this time he made sure your lips couldn't touch. There'd been many times curly had been more brave then you. Like jokingly saying you were his boyfriend or asking if you were bi at the end of an interview. Sometimes you couldn't handle it. You were ready to cry. You did cry. And curly comforted you.

Then something dreaded happened. The fans started catching on to your feelings. You didn't consider it bad. Neither did curly. It wasn't till management pointed it out that you noticed how large the amount of supporters you two had, that made you smile. But soon the words started being said. "Fairy.. Fag" you couldn't handle it, curly was just fine. It was all you panicking under the spotlight. So management found a way to solve it. They'd make you straight. Yeah. Got you a girlfriend and everything. You thought it'd be nice to try, you'd had a girlfriend before, you loved her until you met curly. Then things got confusing. The word soul mate circled around your head late at night, you'd never admit it but maybe curly was your soul mate.

Your girlfriend and you were frequently together. You almost never had time for curly. But when you got home after the long day with her, you'd see him curled up on the couch waiting for you. You knew it was more than friendship. You'd kiss his nose, gently waking him before walking to his room with him making sure he got to bed. Then you'd go to your room straight across the hall. You'd wash your face, take your contacts out and lay on the bed staring at the ceiling. Your bed was comfortable but not as much as Curly's chest, you'd end up crying. Wondering why you couldn't just handle the hate like him. Then you'd get under the covers, your puffy red eyes hurting from the constant flow of tears. And eventually you'd fall asleep. Then your day would repeat just with different stores to attend with her. The smile plastered on your face when the pap was around started to become more frequent around the lads, even curly. No one was to know you were hurting.

The fans could tell, they said they missed the old you. The bubbly happy you that was constantly being sassy and messing with curly. But you couldn't be that way you were straight. You had to be. Then the day you never wanted to happen, happened. Curly got a girlfriend. It was disgusting, the girl was nice, blonde, red lipped but she had a reputation and you didn't want curly getting hurt. You tried to warn him but he wouldn't listen. Worst winter of your life. Didn't last long but it lasted long enough for those sleep less nights to return. And the plastered smile to become perminate. It just got worse. Apparently curly was dating every girl he was seen with. Pictures of him kissing girls were leaked. You couldn't take it, you hurt so badly. You wanted to shout to the world that you were gay and in love with curly. But he was straight. He'd never love you back...

You regained hope slowly, from the way he pranced around stage to the way he danced against his mic stand. Maybe he isn't so straight after all. Then came the interviews that changed your mind completely. Gender isn't important to curly. Don't knock till you try it, does that mean he's been with a man? Or he'd be with a man? Do I have a chance? It hits you like a ton of bricks. You've abandoned your best friend, just so you could seem straight. It's been years since you cuddled together. Or you cooked for him, or more like he cooked for you. You started getting used to your girlfriend, your love for curly lessened as you forced yourself to act happy. So here you are. Just after tour started. Crying at his hotel door. Not enough courage to knock on it. Your choking on your own sobs. Your chest hurts every time you breath in. You wonder if he's ever felt pain this bad. You're sliding down the hallway wall, knees against your chest, you're sure you look small and fragile, against the wall, eyes red and puffy. Your sobs get louder but you don't worry, why should anyone care. But slowly you hear the locks of the hotel door in front of you slide open. The door is sweeping back against the green grey carpet and you refuse to look up because you know those pigeon toed feet. Those golden boots. Those long legs. That butterfly tattoo. Those swallows. That curly hair. Those pink lips. Those green eyes that are now showing concern. You know Harry Styles. The boy you've been in love with for more than four and a half years. The boy you'd spend the rest of your life with if you had the guts. He steps towards you wrapping his around around you as you shiver, you are never this close to curly. He lifts you from the ground and you cling to his neck, head nuzzled between it and his shoulder. You don't want him to see you cry. He walks back to his room shutting his door. He lays you on his bed stroking your hair, whispering soft nothings about how everything will be okay and you only cry harder. No it won't because he will never love you. So you wait until you can breathe without choking and you stare into his beautiful green eyes. And you say the only thing you can think of. The only thing that seems to matter anymore.

"I love you Harry Styles"


End file.
